[ctct form=”873″ show_title=”false”]
Stupid people.
How many times have you heard “that stupid person”? I can’t stand stupid people? Or How stupid is that? These are common statements that I hear. I hear this from people who are from all walks of life. I have to say it is one thing that really irritates me. Let’s look further into these statements.
Someone is driving in front of you on the road and they cut you off, do you yell that stupid person? Why are they stupid? Did they mean to cut you off? I would venture to say, most of the time they did not try to cut you off. But, your reaction will now stay with you for a few moments, minutes, hours, days or even, weeks. That person may not have realized that they cut you off. They did no know that you felt, they cut you off. They are going about their world unscafed. You however, have stewed over this situation. You have lost sleep. You have not ate well since. You have held that burden on you. This has added stress to your life, your family’s life and anyone you have told about the incident. Again, the person in the car that you felt was stupid, has not held onto it at all. They are going about life normally.
Have you been asked a question from someone, and then when they left, you said “they are stupid, I hate stupid people”? When this happens that person probably already feels bad about not knowing the answer. They may have felt scared to ask the question. But, how did you know that answer? You probably had asked the same question at some point in your life. You may just have been that ”stupid person”, at some point. As we grow and learn more in life, we can take for granted that everyone has had the same experiences. When someone asks a question and you feel it is a simple question that anyone should know, remember you had to learn that same thing at some point.
Have you been in a situation where you are watching how someone is preforming a task, and you thought or said “How stupid is that”? If you know better why don’t you stand up and show them a better way, or may sit back keep you comments to your self and watch. They just might surprise you and do it more efficient than you have. We all have things that we have done the same way for years. Learning a new way to do something may save time or money.
Next time you think or say STUPID, try to put yourself in that person’s place and see if you would still find it stupid. My guess is you will not. What are your thoughts about calling others stupid? How can you react differently and more positive? Let me know in the comments below.
4 Fibs A Day, Is That The Naked Truth?
Book “it ends with us” by Colleen Hoover. I loved this book. It is about a man and women that meet, and both in a tough spot. They being strangers, alone on a roof top, share a couple “naked truths”. Okay that is all I will tell you about this. However, you can listen to the audiobook or read the paper copy.
What is the naked truth? What is truth? Why do we lie? Don’t even think that you have never told a lie. It may be a small lie or a big one. Maybe you did not want to tell the truth, because, you did not want to take the blame for something. If you told the truth, would it make you look bad? Would it cost you more? Money? Reputation? It is said that if you tell the truth, you do not get mixed up telling the story over and over again.
I wonder even with those who are on the stand and sworn to tell the truth. Are they telling the truth? Are they lying? Is the car sales person telling every thing he knows about the car? When you purchase something is the financer telling everything about the cost of the loan?
In the bible we are told to tell the truth, do not lie. Lying is a sin. Yet, everyone lies. Maybe is a simple lie like “sorry, I am washing my hair Saturday evening.” Or telling our children “you tell grandma how good dinner is, even if you don’t like it. We don’t want to hurt her feelings.” We do these without a blink of the eye.
Telling a lie is so easy, but telling the naked truth can be hard. What is the naked truth. It is telling a story that has NO LIES, not even one. Telling a story that you have never told. The story that you have to find the exact right person and time to tell. The naked truth.
A quick google search states that “average American’s tell 4 lies a day.” Most popular lies are “I am on my way” you are still at home. “My phone died” you just did not want to answer. AGE, all gender’s some want to be older, others younger. “I am fine” Fine I once heard stands for “feelings inside not expressed”. “I love my gift” when you really did not want it or like it. We lie thinking that we are saving the feelings of others.
I challenge you to be below the average and not tell those little white lies or those big ole lies. How do you know if someone is lying to you? Comment below.
How much is your time worth? $1, $5, $100
COVID, shot us forward to the virtual world. Today we do not have to leave our homes, take time off work, or leave school to have an appointment with most anyone. From healthcare to legal to school advisors most can be completed virtual. Therefore, saving you time, money from loss of work and travel expenses.
Have you ever taken a day off work, drove 10 minutes or 2 hours to get to an appointment? Checked in and waited your turn. Then finally, the appointment that last all of 30 minutes, and you are back on your way home. I am sure some people love the drive, take time to eat out or shop. Would you rather the appointment be during your lunch hour and/or change your lunch, so that it could at the appointment time? That is now an option for most places. You do not need to take the time off work or school.
Lets talk virtual meetings. Have you ever been in a meeting and others around you are having their own conversations? You miss information they are presenting because of the distractions. Now, you can have your space and possibly headset with volume control. Everyone, that is not presenting is usually muted. Wow! You can actually hear the information. Also, most platforms allow you to video record these meetings. Which allows you to go back and watch.
Down sides to these great virtual meetings/appointments. Other’s not paying attention to what is going on. Maybe there are kids in the back ground or they are at a work site and not able to be “at” the appointment. They sign in but have so many distractions. I have heard of being in a store and have kids with them. Being near the pool with a cocktail in one hand. Smoking, being shirtless. You get the idea.
When you have an appt, no matter who it is with, make the effort to stop what you are doing. Get ready for the appt. Put on a shirt, pull over to the side of the road, get away from other distractions. Act as if you got up, drove to the appointment and are interested in being part of the discussion.
Covid, shot us into the virtual world. We now embrace technology more. We can now hear what is going on in meetings/appointments. Save our paid time off from work. Spend less time traveling when virtual is an option. Enjoy the benefits. If virtual is not for you, take the time off, drive, wait and find a great lunch spot on the way home.
What have been your experiences with virtual appointments? Good? Bad? Have you given them a try? Comment below.
Hyperlipidemia, when is 202 a bad number?
High cholesterol. Have you ever been visiting and someone starts talking about cholesterol numbers? You think why do I care about these numbers. I eat well, I don’t over indulge, that must, mean that my numbers are good.
While we think that we do not need to know, those numbers. It is very important, to know those numbers. When you have high cholesterol, this means there is a higher chance of plaque in the blood vessels. Let’s think about those old water pipes the ones that get rust built up in them. Those pipes work, for a while. Eventually, we start tasting the rust in the water. As time goes on, we might see some rust particles in the water. If nothing is done, they will start getting clogged as the rust builds up, then one might crack.
That is what it is like with the plagues in our vessels. Over time they clog, when they clog it is not normal for the vessel to crack, but the clog stops blood flow. We have oxygen in our blood, so no oxygen either. When tissues do not have oxygen, they die. This can be the cause of a heart attack or stroke. Other ways that plaques can cause heart attack or stroke is that the plague can flake off, flow through the vessels until, they get to one that is to small. It will block off the blood flow.
So, when your provider says your cholesterol numbers are high, listen. There are many treatments that can include exercise, diet, medications to help with decreasing these numbers.
Hyperlipemia or high cholesterol can be hereditary. There are those folks who cannot change their genes. Mom or Dad, grand parent, great grand parent who have high cholesterol no matter what they do, is rare but happens. Do your best still to try to keep these numbers in a good range.
EXERCISE
Exercise: We tend to believe that exercise is hard. I can’t lift my arm, little alone weights. I can’t walk, my yard is all up hill. It is to hot or to cold. We can come up with half a million excuses to not get up and do something. Did you know that 30 minutes a day is beneficial. Simply get up and move. You can walk around your home. Even if it is small. You can walk in place; you can go up and down stairs in your home, if you have them and you’re physically able. Do something, here is a link to my week 1 blog on exercise for those who have difficulties with exercises. Also, check out week 2, 3, and 4.
EATING RIGHT
Diet: low cholesterol diet include:
*Choose healthier fats
*Limit food with cholesterol
*Eat plenty o soluble fiber
*Eat losts of fruits and vegetables
*Eat fish that are high in Omega-3 fatty acids
*limit salt
*Limit alcohol
According to health.harvard.edu
*Oats
*Barley and other whole grains
*Beans
*Eggplant , okra, Avocados
*Nuts
*Vegetable oils, Olive oil
*Apples, grapes, strawberries, citrus fruits
*Foods fortified with sterols and stanols: sterols and stanols help block your bodies absorption of cholesterol.
*Soy
*Fatty fish
*Fiber supplements
www.mayoclinic.org/disease-conditions/high-blood-cholesterol/in-depth/cholesterol/art-20045192
MEDICATIONS:
The most common medications are statins. These medications are able to make the plaque pliable. When the plague is pliable it is less likely to scale or flake off. It also helps to lower the cholesterol in the body. You should avoid taking with fiber, oat bran, pectin this may decrease the absorption of the medications. Also, it is noted widely that if taking a statin medication to avoid grapefruit juice as it can increase the bioavailability of medication increasing the risk of muscle pain(myopathy) and rhabdomyolysis. If your primary care provider suggest for you to start a statin medication and you start to have leg pain please contact their office and let them know.
We discussed three ways to help keep your cholesterol numbers in a good range. This can help prevent other health conditions. Please contact your primary care provider before starting any exercise program. This is not medical advice. This is for informational purposes only. Please contact your primary care provider with additional questions about any of this information.
2 Of the Toughest Decisions
We are in what is considered the “sandwich” time of our life or middle aged. Exploring life after 50 we have several things that arise, on our calendars, and things that we should or need to pay attention.
This is the time of life that our parent get more phone calls regarding health issues. They say that we need to check things out further. Possibly a bad medical report. Being prepared for that next step is very important. Preparing yourself for the 2 options that are likely to happen: 1) everything’s fine. 2) we need to review and continue to investigate the results of testing. We have to be prepared both for ourselves, or our loved one’s decision. The decision that no treatment is wanted. On the other hand, they may choose to do everything possible.
Our loved one needs to understand that they have options. They get to make the decision, do we move forward and investigate further, or let it be. While as the children of our parents, we prefer to be selfish. We would like to push and go as far as medical science will allow. We have to also remember that they have rights. They have the right to say no thank you. They also, have the right to take any treatments options available, and fight as hard as they can, for whatever the outcome might be. We are very blessed these days that medical science has allowed us to find so many treatment options.
Looking back, I remember working ICU that day. The day that the 90+ year old lady was my patient. She had a stroke a few days previous. Her prognoses was poor at best. There was much discussion about organ donations. According to HRSA at https://www.organdonor.gov “there’s no age limit to donation or to signing up.” Speaking with the family about what they want to be done. Most family members wanted us to do everything we could. We should do full CPR. I remember thinking what would the patient have wanted. She is the one lying in the bed, sick, neuro deficits. Why did she not write this down or tell someone? Realizing that not everyone is comfortable with making these decisions, I still wondered. When she did CODE, every effort was made to revive the patient. Our efforts were not met with success. Or, were they, is that what she wanted? The family was opening to organ donation and that process was started.
Recently, my father-in-law passed. He had planned his funeral; last revision was 2012. So, 9 years before he became ill. He had a living will, he gave a copy to all 3 of his children. He had chosen songs, bible verses, and who was to sing, and preform the service. This made the decisions, when he passed, easier on his family. In no way, were the decisions easy, but there was the knowledge of his wishes to base it on.
Take time to talk about these things with your loved one. Ask what they prefer, resuscitation or not. What specifics do they want during funeral services? While this is a really tough process, most of our parents have been thinking and know what they want. Many times, they do not tell us, as they do not wish to upset us.
Luke 12:35 “Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit.”
Are you 1 of 4, stop looking in the Rearview Mirror!
Quit looking in the rear view mirror. Do you remember sitting at home when you were a child, seeing your favorite aunt or uncle or grandparents driving away. As they are going you think why couldn’t they stay, why are they leaving me, when am I going to see them again.
In life, we definitely tend to look in our rear view mirror. What if, we turn our thoughts around. Quit looking in the rear view mirror, start looking out the windshield. What is in our future? What control do we have in our future? Recently, when reading a book there was a quotation from the Social Security Administration …if you followed 100 people for 40 years until retirement That 1 of them would be wealthy at retirement, 4 of them would be secure with their retirement, 5 would be continuing to work because they have to NOT because they want to, 36 would be dead and 54 would be broke dependent on family, friends or the government to help them throughout their retirement years.
If you were one of those 100 people where would you want to be? If you look in your rear view mirror, if you look at all your past mistakes, your past experiences, your past growing challenges and what was in front of you, where would you be within that 100 people. OK, so quit looking in the rear view mirror! We all have our past we all have “that ghost in the closet” we all have have made mistakes. We have all had situations that we wish we had handled differently. So, starting today this minute, this second, start looking through your windshield. Start, making plans of where you want to be at retirement. If your retired are you happy? in your retirement, do you want more? Can you get more?
This blog is exploring life after 50 all that means is we have tons and tons of experiences. It also means we still have time. We’re exploring the next view, the next adventure, the next chapter of our lives. What are you gonna make of them? What are you gonna do, or what are you not gonna do? I challenge each and every one of you to come up with ideas of things that you can do in this next chapter. Things that you would like to do in ways that you can make that happen.
What if you did some research on how to publish your own book? what if you just started make a notes and writing things so it takes you a year, maybe to write down your experiences that you want to share that’s OK. You can then look into having somebody proof read it for you. Then look into how to self publish versus trying to get a publisher. They say that it’s cheaper to self publish, you make more money per book if you self publish. Many years ago it wasn’t so easy to find information. Nowadays it’s much easier. We can find information on our computers, at the library, buy books, if you want to you can listen to books, watch videos. You can do a multitude of things to learn what it is that you want to learn.
Keep looking forward and keep taking steps toward your goals. Get out there and be 1 of 4 of them who are secure with their retirement.
3 parts of gratitude and how to show yours.
National Gratitude Month is November. What is gratitude? It is being thankful for something, showing appreciation and returning kindness. The Latin word “gratus” which means thankful, pleasing (vocabulary.com)
There are three parts to gratitude.
1) Recognition: When we show that we are appreciative of the work someone does for us. Simply telling them thanks for being here. Whether they are selling, making, doing a chore, or listening to you.
2) Acknowledgement: When you talk to others just make sure to say thank you. Acknowledge something they did and point it out to others when you get a chance. Acknowledge is simply that they know, you know they are important and they have helped you. Even by smiling at you they brighten your day.
3) Appreciation: you can do as above with telling them, or maybe give them something. It does not have to cost anything. Write a note and hand to them. Smile and be kind.
What the bible says about being grateful “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is GOD’s will for you in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18
I would like to take you through whom all you would need to be thankful for that cup of coffee each day.
Do you enjoy coffee? Let’s look at whom all we should appreciate for us to enjoy a simple cup of coffee.
*Person growing the beans
*Those harvesting the beans
*Those packaging the beans
*Those delivering the beans
*Those unpacking the beans
*Those roasting the beans
*Those picking out bad beans
*Those grinding beans
*Those packing the grounds
*Those delivering grounds to store to sell.
*Those stocking the shelves with coffee grounds.
*Cashier whom we pay for the grounds.
This is just for the coffee grounds. You can think through whom you are grateful for those who make our coffee pots, coffee cups etc. Then look at those working at our local coffee shops when we chose to go and buy a cup of coffee.
Look into every thing you do each day and pick out 5 things or more that you are grateful for that day. Tell the folks that you interact with each day that you appreciate them and that they are here to help you. Imagine how much happier our world is when we appreciate each individual and what they have chosen for their career.
1.4 million American’s in Long Term Care. Do your research!
Taking good care of our elderly. Making sure they feel secure in long term care.
As many of our parents are getting older. There is a higher potential for the need of long-term care. There are approximately 1.4 million folks in long term care in the US. This business is a 443-billion-dollar business in the US in 2019 and expected to reach 1.7 trillion by 2028. Every country helps their elders in different ways. I found a blog post looking at other wealthy countries and comparing the way they help their elders. Picking the right long term care facility is a critical decision for most. Look here for a list of states and rankings. Also, the decision is so tough. It can split families making the decision to place a family member in long term care. But, being a caregiver is also tough. What to do, is what we will discuss. October is long term care planning month.
Many families go to the doctor when they start having issues with health. As the elderly become more fragile with health issues, we have to consider how to keep them safe. More than 6 million Americans suffer from dementia. Most of which will require long term care. Many families take on care giver support, meaning that someone in the family takes care of the elderly individual. This can start out as making sure they have groceries, making meals, taking to appointments. Then this progresses to needing help with showers, and getting dressed. It can move quickly from needing help with shopping to needing someone there all the time. This can be a daunting task for the individual who is the main caregiver.
It is very important to look at the long-term facilities in your area, to help determine if a loved one will stay in your area, or near another family member. Here is a site comparing states and long-term facilities. You want to look for cleanliness, how are the other residents being treated, what do the reviews say about the facility. Maybe even see if you can purchase a meal to see if you and your loved one like the food. Always listen to your gut when you are visiting different facilities. While this is no fun for the caregiver nor the elderly individual, it is better to be prepared in advance. When the time comes that the care is needed it will be difficult to make the decision. Even tougher if you have not researched the ones, you feel fits your loved ones needs. There is always the potential that the long-term facility will not have any beds available also. It is good to have a list of your top three.
Where do we look? This Medicare guide gives you a great resource for seeing where your state, long term facilities rank. Maybe you have family living in another state and those long-term facilities are higher ranked or you like them better. Remember, this is where your loved one will live. This decision needs to be what is best for them. NOT YOU! In many decisions in life, we often think of how it affects us. This is a decision that we cannot afford to be selfish. If the best place for our loved one is 4 hours away, then that is the best place and we have to make the time to go and check on them.
I really feel that it is always good to listen when other talk about the long-term facilities in the area. It is good to know the general reputation. However, the actual research is one that when you know that your loved one is starting to have some issues that may require long term care in the future. You may have absolutely no need to use the information that you learn. I hope that is the case. However, with 9% of our population being over the age of 65 and rising to an estimated 16% by 2050. 6.5% of those are living in long-term facility either on the nursing side or the assisted living side. It is a good chance you will need the information. There is almost 29,000 facilities in the US and rising. With this in mind, research is essential to find the right one.
Starting the research will mean to look online or local healthcare facilities to get a list of the nursing facilities in your area. This list can range from none to several, depending on the size of your community. Also, if you have family living in other areas (such as siblings) look there also. This just gives you and your loved ones more options. Many elderlies will prefer to stay either in their own community or near a hometown. Research each facility as to reviews online, remember to look at how many have reviewed this facility. Keep in mind that folks are quicker to make a bad review than a good one, no matter how good the service. So, when looking at the reviews look at both the good ones and bad ones. Then make your list of the ones you would like to visit. See my suggestions above regarding what to look at while there. Speak with the social worker who can give you the information for admission, financials you must be aware of and any paperwork that might need addressed.
Long term care is the one thing that is a tough decision, especially when family are at odds over it. The more prepared you are, for this, the better. These discussions need to take place as soon as there is a concern that it may be needed. Remember to be open to other family members opinions. Do not belittle opinions that differ from yours in making this decision. A split family is not good support for the loved one that needs care.
I challenge you to pick up the phone book or computer and look up what is available in your area. Also, if you have any information that would make this decision better for others please comment below.
What are 5 Stages of Grief?
A brief explanation about stages of grief.
Grief is one of those things we never want to think about. Then one day, out of the blue, we get a phone call, someone has passed away. We find out that our beloved animal is going to be dying soon. We start the process of grief. Most sources state that grief has 5 stages. Is there a specific timeline for each specific stage? Am I grieving like I should be? Am I weak because I cry a lot? These are all questions that we will look into in this post.
While we talk about 5 stages of grief. Know that when one is going through a grieving time, it does not mean that they will go through each stage in order. There may be some mixing of stages at anyone time. It is however, good to have an understanding so, that when this happens you are able to recognize what they are going through.
The 5 stages of grief.
Denial: They may act or talk as if the person is still alive. It may be that they expect them to be home at 5 or have make coffee. They soon realize that this is not the case. This will come in waves for them. They may avoid places or activities that they enjoyed together. There may be some fear of what it to come, or how they will move forward.
Anger: As days go on there may be some frustration of having to do all the chores. Irritability in having to do things alone, that they may have enjoyed with their loved one. Anxiety about trying to get everything completed.
Bargaining: Telling the stories of the loved one, to make sure they are remembered. Struggling to make sense of why they have passed.
Depression: Sleepless nights, feeling that things will never feel normal again. Feeling a “black cloud” over them. Feeling that they need to go….but need to stay.
Acceptance: Finally, things start to turn a corner. They start to see that the future is brighter. They can start to see living life again even without the person who passed away.
How long should I grieve?
Grieving is different for every person. Some will be shorter and some longer. Most areas have support groups that can help with this. You can ask at your doctor’s office, look it up on the internet, hospice services, your local hospital or church. Please consider these groups as they are very beneficial for most people.
Am I weak because I cry? NO! is the simple and short answer. Crying is a way that we all use to help “get it out”. It is your body’s normal reaction to sadness. Let it flow. It will come in waves and at times you least expect it.
How am I going to go on with my life, now that my loved one has gone? YES! This could take some time. You will never forget the one who is no longer here. However, you will learn to do things again, and how to do them without your loved one. Holidays are normally difficult. Things that may help is having several pictures of your loved one. Leaving their chair open during events that you attended together. Grieve is a part of life. We either have, or will experience it during our life. I have written about grieving of a loved one. However, grief can be felt through many other losses. Loss of an animal, job, home, body part, finances and many other things. What can you think of that could help someone going through a loss? Comment below
Cancer, that 6 letter word NO ONE wants to hear.
The 5 goals to help control cancer.
April is national cancer control month. According, to medical news today, the 5 goals of the program of national cancer control month:
- Cancer prevention
- Early detection
- Improving treatments
- Increasing survival rates
- Improving quality of life
Learn more by visiting the ACS the national cancer the national foundation for cancer research have also created a free cancer prevention kit.
Have you ever heard those words? Those words of we need to check this out; or we need to recheck; or we have found… These are words that none of us are ready for or happy to hear. I work in health care, I have to give these talks to patients. I monitor and do several follow up tests for things that are questionable. One of the worst conversations that you can have with the patient, is any conversation that starts with the above.
It’s very hard as a medical provider to tell a patient that there is a concerning nodule, that there’s some lab result that is not quite right. Saying it, being empathetic, and knowing they are scared and worried. Always, trying to make sure that you give good information. Giving the information that is clear and in terms they can understand. Along, with being very conscious of getting them their results as soon as possible. Has to be high on any providers list.
Please as a patient also be proactive, if you haven’t heard results in 48 to 72 hours after you have finished with a test, call your provider. Leave a message if you need. Let them know that you wish to know the results. There are occasions, where it takes longer to get results back, but your provider should let you know this time period. They should tell you “we should know something in a week” or “we should know something in 2 weeks”. Again, if you have not heard. Call your provider and ask for the results.
There are many screening tools and test out there. Many that look for cancers to try to control cancers. Control I mean try to catch them early, so that we can do as much as possible to keep them from metastasizing or spreading to other parts of the body. Please see my blog on health care screenings for MEN and Women.
We have made great strides in treating cancers but more importantly we’ve made great strides in early detection, over the last several years. We have noticed that in doing more screenings, we have had more false, positives than in the past. However, even with more false positives, we are catching more true positives, therefore treating earlier. Having more success in treating.
We also have made great strides in quality of life and more days. As time goes on the screenings and treatments continue to advance. Getting the word out and continuing to do our part is very important. I recommend getting your screenings. Be proactive. Live your best life!! Please share my blog with your friends. Sign up for our emails so you know when a new post comes out, and/or join us on our Facebook page.
This is not to be used as medical advice but to be used as knowledge to help you in your family or those you share with in your health care journey.