We are in what is considered the “sandwich” time of our life or middle aged. Exploring life after 50 we have several things that arise, on our calendars, and things that we should or need to pay attention.
This is the time of life that our parent get more phone calls regarding health issues. They say that we need to check things out further. Possibly a bad medical report. Being prepared for that next step is very important. Preparing yourself for the 2 options that are likely to happen: 1) everything’s fine. 2) we need to review and continue to investigate the results of testing. We have to be prepared both for ourselves, or our loved one’s decision. The decision that no treatment is wanted. On the other hand, they may choose to do everything possible.
Our loved one needs to understand that they have options. They get to make the decision, do we move forward and investigate further, or let it be. While as the children of our parents, we prefer to be selfish. We would like to push and go as far as medical science will allow. We have to also remember that they have rights. They have the right to say no thank you. They also, have the right to take any treatments options available, and fight as hard as they can, for whatever the outcome might be. We are very blessed these days that medical science has allowed us to find so many treatment options.
Looking back, I remember working ICU that day. The day that the 90+ year old lady was my patient. She had a stroke a few days previous. Her prognoses was poor at best. There was much discussion about organ donations. According to HRSA at https://www.organdonor.gov “there’s no age limit to donation or to signing up.” Speaking with the family about what they want to be done. Most family members wanted us to do everything we could. We should do full CPR. I remember thinking what would the patient have wanted. She is the one lying in the bed, sick, neuro deficits. Why did she not write this down or tell someone? Realizing that not everyone is comfortable with making these decisions, I still wondered. When she did CODE, every effort was made to revive the patient. Our efforts were not met with success. Or, were they, is that what she wanted? The family was opening to organ donation and that process was started.
Recently, my father-in-law passed. He had planned his funeral; last revision was 2012. So, 9 years before he became ill. He had a living will, he gave a copy to all 3 of his children. He had chosen songs, bible verses, and who was to sing, and preform the service. This made the decisions, when he passed, easier on his family. In no way, were the decisions easy, but there was the knowledge of his wishes to base it on.
Take time to talk about these things with your loved one. Ask what they prefer, resuscitation or not. What specifics do they want during funeral services? While this is a really tough process, most of our parents have been thinking and know what they want. Many times, they do not tell us, as they do not wish to upset us.
Luke 12:35 “Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit.”