Today we’ll discuss care giving for our elderly family. As we age, at some point we need help, those of us who are 50 and exploring our lives have found out. There becomes the reality that our parents who are now seventies, eighties, or nineties or older need some help. Sometimes that help is as easy as mowing the yard or it can be as complicated as they their need to move in with us or have full-time care givers. We find ourselves looking for full-time care givers, hiring them can be very costly. As we’ve discussed in my retirement postings our income decreases when we retire. While our parents as have worked hard and have saved for this time in life the cost is surprising. Many families find this cost prohibitive to actually pay an individual to give full time care. The families then take this task on, some have other family members whom they can share this task and some of which cannot.
For married couples sometimes that’s the spouse who takes on the full-time caregiver position. Being a full-time caregiver can be very tiring for the individual who is giving the care. There are taxing chores, a balance that must be met between what the person needing care is used to and wishes versus what they care giver is used to and is able to give. Many caregivers take on this role possibility unknowingly giving up more of themselves to the care of the family member then they care for themselves.
We must as outsiders looking in be sure that were able to give some relief to the caregivers in our families. If as a care giver you do not have an individual who can come and relieve you allow you to have some “you” time, I recommend you speak with primary care provider. They can see if home health may be warranted and be paid through insurance. As a care giver if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re not able to take care of the individual that you have chosen to take care.
Many areas do have caregiver support groups, that you might find beneficial. You might be able to find that insurance will pay for maybe 8 hours a week of care giving support so that you’re able to take care of yourself. There are respite to programs in some areas, I would check with your local nursing facilities to see if they offer respite. Respite is when the person is taken to a facility for several hours or a day to be cared for during that time. Long term facilities will be able to tell you what the requirements are and/or what the cost of might be for that respite care.
You might think when you decide to become a care giver would be that you can handle whatever is brought to you or ask of you. The stress of caregiving is real and needs to be addressed from the beginning. So, if you are a care giver, I challenge you to find time for yourself, make time for yourself. Whether that be a few hours a week that you’re able to go shopping, get your hair done, get your nails done. Whatever that might be spending time with a friend, going to the park again whatever it is that makes you happy that you be sure to take that time for you. If you are a family member of someone who has a full-time caregiver, I challenge you, to make time to give that full-time care giver a break. Give1,2.3 hours of your time each week to that person without any strings attached so that they have time for themselves.
We all feel the need to be helpful, we just don’t always see what is in front of us.