Grief is one of those things we never want to think about. Then one day, out of the blue, we get a phone call, someone has passed away. We find out that our beloved animal is going to be dying soon. We start the process of grief. Most sources state that grief has 5 stages. Is there a specific timeline for each specific stage? Am I grieving like I should be? Am I weak because I cry a lot? These are all questions that we will look into in this post.
While we talk about 5 stages of grief. Know that when one is going through a grieving time, it does not mean that they will go through each stage in order. There may be some mixing of stages at anyone time. It is however, good to have an understanding so, that when this happens you are able to recognize what they are going through.
The 5 stages of grief.
Denial: They may act or talk as if the person is still alive. It may be that they expect them to be home at 5 or have make coffee. They soon realize that this is not the case. This will come in waves for them. They may avoid places or activities that they enjoyed together. There may be some fear of what it to come, or how they will move forward.
Anger: As days go on there may be some frustration of having to do all the chores. Irritability in having to do things alone, that they may have enjoyed with their loved one. Anxiety about trying to get everything completed.
Bargaining: Telling the stories of the loved one, to make sure they are remembered. Struggling to make sense of why they have passed.
Depression: Sleepless nights, feeling that things will never feel normal again. Feeling a “black cloud” over them. Feeling that they need to go….but need to stay.
Acceptance: Finally, things start to turn a corner. They start to see that the future is brighter. They can start to see living life again even without the person who passed away.
How long should I grieve?
Grieving is different for every person. Some will be shorter and some longer. Most areas have support groups that can help with this. You can ask at your doctor’s office, look it up on the internet, hospice services, your local hospital or church. Please consider these groups as they are very beneficial for most people.
Am I weak because I cry? NO! is the simple and short answer. Crying is a way that we all use to help “get it out”. It is your body’s normal reaction to sadness. Let it flow. It will come in waves and at times you least expect it.
How am I going to go on with my life, now that my loved one has gone? YES! This could take some time. You will never forget the one who is no longer here. However, you will learn to do things again, and how to do them without your loved one. Holidays are normally difficult. Things that may help is having several pictures of your loved one. Leaving their chair open during events that you attended together. Grieve is a part of life. We either have, or will experience it during our life. I have written about grieving of a loved one. However, grief can be felt through many other losses. Loss of an animal, job, home, body part, finances and many other things. What can you think of that could help someone going through a loss? Comment below