love

3 parts of gratitude and how to show yours.

National Gratitude Month is November. What is gratitude? It is being thankful for something, showing appreciation and returning kindness. The Latin word “gratus” which means thankful, pleasing (vocabulary.com)

pray, hands, grateful-2408038.jpg — Finding gratitude in everything

There are three parts to gratitude.

1) Recognition: When we show that we are appreciative of the work someone does for us. Simply telling them thanks for being here. Whether they are selling, making, doing a chore, or listening to you.

2) Acknowledgement: When you talk to others just make sure to say thank you. Acknowledge something they did and point it out to others when you get a chance. Acknowledge is simply that they know, you know they are important and they have helped you. Even by smiling at you they brighten your day.

3) Appreciation: you can do as above with telling them, or maybe give them something. It does not have to cost anything. Write a note and hand to them. Smile and be kind.

What the bible says about being grateful “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is GOD’s will for you in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

I would like to take you through whom all you would need to be thankful for that cup of coffee each day.

Do you enjoy coffee? Let’s look at whom all we should appreciate for us to enjoy a simple cup of coffee.

coffee, coffee beans, roasted-5963334.jpg

*Person growing the beans

*Those harvesting the beans

*Those packaging the beans

*Those delivering the beans

*Those unpacking the beans

*Those roasting the beans

*Those picking out bad beans

*Those grinding beans

*Those packing the grounds

*Those delivering grounds to store to sell.

*Those stocking the shelves with coffee grounds.

*Cashier whom we pay for the grounds.

This is just for the coffee grounds. You can think through whom you are grateful for those who make our coffee pots, coffee cups etc. Then look at those working at our local coffee shops when we chose to go and buy a cup of coffee.

Look into every thing you do each day and pick out 5 things or more that you are grateful for that day. Tell the folks that you interact with each day that you appreciate them and that they are here to help you. Imagine how much happier our world is when we appreciate each individual and what they have chosen for their career.

1.4 million American’s in Long Term Care. Do your research!

Taking good care of our elderly. Making sure they feel secure in long term care.

As many of our parents are getting older. There is a higher potential for the need of long-term care. There are approximately 1.4 million folks in long term care in the US. This business is a 443-billion-dollar business in the US in 2019 and expected to reach 1.7 trillion by 2028. Every country helps their elders in different ways. I found a blog post looking at other wealthy countries and comparing the way they help their elders. Picking the right long term care facility is a critical decision for most. Look here for a list of states and rankings. Also, the decision is so tough. It can split families making the decision to place a family member in long term care. But, being a caregiver is also tough. What to do, is what we will discuss. October is long term care planning month.

hands, old, old age-2906458.jpg — Caring for our elderly

Many families go to the doctor when they start having issues with health. As the elderly become more fragile with health issues, we have to consider how to keep them safe. More than 6 million Americans suffer from dementia. Most of which will require long term care. Many families take on care giver support, meaning that someone in the family takes care of the elderly individual. This can start out as making sure they have groceries, making meals, taking to appointments. Then this progresses to needing help with showers, and getting dressed. It can move quickly from needing help with shopping to needing someone there all the time. This can be a daunting task for the individual who is the main caregiver.

hospice, care, patient-1821429.jpg — Caregiving can be tough.

It is very important to look at the long-term facilities in your area, to help determine if a loved one will stay in your area, or near another family member. Here is a site comparing states and long-term facilities. You want to look for cleanliness, how are the other residents being treated, what do the reviews say about the facility. Maybe even see if you can purchase a meal to see if you and your loved one like the food. Always listen to your gut when you are visiting different facilities. While this is no fun for the caregiver nor the elderly individual, it is better to be prepared in advance. When the time comes that the care is needed it will be difficult to make the decision. Even tougher if you have not researched the ones, you feel fits your loved ones needs. There is always the potential that the long-term facility will not have any beds available also. It is good to have a list of your top three.

Where do we look? This Medicare guide gives you a great resource for seeing where your state, long term facilities rank. Maybe you have family living in another state and those long-term facilities are higher ranked or you like them better. Remember, this is where your loved one will live. This decision needs to be what is best for them. NOT YOU! In many decisions in life, we often think of how it affects us. This is a decision that we cannot afford to be selfish. If the best place for our loved one is 4 hours away, then that is the best place and we have to make the time to go and check on them.

bed, bedroom, interior-644728.jpg — A homey room!

I really feel that it is always good to listen when other talk about the long-term facilities in the area. It is good to know the general reputation. However, the actual research is one that when you know that your loved one is starting to have some issues that may require long term care in the future. You may have absolutely no need to use the information that you learn. I hope that is the case. However, with 9% of our population being over the age of 65 and rising to an estimated 16% by 2050. 6.5% of those are living in long-term facility either on the nursing side or the assisted living side. It is a good chance you will need the information. There is almost 29,000 facilities in the US and rising. With this in mind, research is essential to find the right one.

Starting the research will mean to look online or local healthcare facilities to get a list of the nursing facilities in your area. This list can range from none to several, depending on the size of your community. Also, if you have family living in other areas (such as siblings) look there also. This just gives you and your loved ones more options. Many elderlies will prefer to stay either in their own community or near a hometown. Research each facility as to reviews online, remember to look at how many have reviewed this facility. Keep in mind that folks are quicker to make a bad review than a good one, no matter how good the service. So, when looking at the reviews look at both the good ones and bad ones. Then make your list of the ones you would like to visit. See my suggestions above regarding what to look at while there. Speak with the social worker who can give you the information for admission, financials you must be aware of and any paperwork that might need addressed.

todo-lists, tasks, tasks list-5238324.jpg — Research, Research, Research

Long term care is the one thing that is a tough decision, especially when family are at odds over it. The more prepared you are, for this, the better. These discussions need to take place as soon as there is a concern that it may be needed. Remember to be open to other family members opinions. Do not belittle opinions that differ from yours in making this decision. A split family is not good support for the loved one that needs care.

I challenge you to pick up the phone book or computer and look up what is available in your area. Also, if you have any information that would make this decision better for others please comment below.

What are 5 Stages of Grief?

A brief explanation about stages of grief.

Grief is one of those things we never want to think about. Then one day, out of the blue, we get a phone call, someone has passed away. We find out that our beloved animal is going to be dying soon. We start the process of grief. Most sources state that grief has 5 stages. Is there a specific timeline for each specific stage? Am I grieving like I should be? Am I weak because I cry a lot? These are all questions that we will look into in this post.

While we talk about 5 stages of grief. Know that when one is going through a grieving time, it does not mean that they will go through each stage in order. There may be some mixing of stages at anyone time. It is however, good to have an understanding so, that when this happens you are able to recognize what they are going through.

banner, header, cross-949932.jpg — Looking for answers

The 5 stages of grief.

Denial: They may act or talk as if the person is still alive. It may be that they expect them to be home at 5 or have make coffee. They soon realize that this is not the case. This will come in waves for them. They may avoid places or activities that they enjoyed together. There may be some fear of what it to come, or how they will move forward.

coffee, coffee pot, coffee beans-400049.jpg — No prepared coffee.

Anger: As days go on there may be some frustration of having to do all the chores. Irritability in having to do things alone, that they may have enjoyed with their loved one. Anxiety about trying to get everything completed.

girl, sad, portrait-6059889.jpg — Sad and irritable being alone.

Bargaining: Telling the stories of the loved one, to make sure they are remembered. Struggling to make sense of why they have passed.

heart, love, puzzle-1745300.jpg — Telling stories to fill the missing piece.

Depression: Sleepless nights, feeling that things will never feel normal again. Feeling a “black cloud” over them. Feeling that they need to go….but need to stay.

weather, sky, cloudy-2241577.jpg — Black cloud lingering over head.

Acceptance: Finally, things start to turn a corner. They start to see that the future is brighter. They can start to see living life again even without the person who passed away.

clock, time, pocket watch-623170.jpg — Time………

How long should I grieve?

Grieving is different for every person. Some will be shorter and some longer. Most areas have support groups that can help with this. You can ask at your doctor’s office, look it up on the internet, hospice services, your local hospital or church. Please consider these groups as they are very beneficial for most people.

Am I weak because I cry? NO! is the simple and short answer. Crying is a way that we all use to help “get it out”. It is your body’s normal reaction to sadness. Let it flow. It will come in waves and at times you least expect it.

How am I going to go on with my life, now that my loved one has gone? YES! This could take some time. You will never forget the one who is no longer here. However, you will learn to do things again, and how to do them without your loved one. Holidays are normally difficult. Things that may help is having several pictures of your loved one. Leaving their chair open during events that you attended together. Grieve is a part of life. We either have, or will experience it during our life. I have written about grieving of a loved one. However, grief can be felt through many other losses. Loss of an animal, job, home, body part, finances and many other things. What can you think of that could help someone going through a loss? Comment below